In this very funny pun article, we have come up with and collected the best court puns, dad jokes and wordplay to make you LOL.
Order in the Court: The Top 10 Punniest Legal Jokes
1. Why do attorneys always carry a pencil? In case they need to draw their conclusions.
2. Why was the math book sad? Because it had too many problems.
3. Why was the lawyer always calm? Because they knew how to de-fence themselves.
4. What do you call a lawyer who doesn’t chase ambulances? Retired.
5. How do you make a small claims court smile? Jury-rig it.
6. Why did the judge excuse the electrician from jury duty? He kept shocking the other jurors.
7. Why do criminal cases take so long to finish? Because they can’t handle the time.
8. What do you call a judge with no sense of humor? A grievance.
9. How does an attorney sleep? First, he lies on one side, then he lies on the other.
10. Why do we tell actors to “break a leg?” Because it’s better than getting sued for breaking someone’s arm.
Jury Duty Laughs: Hilarious Courtroom Puns That Will Make You Chuckle
1. Why did the scarecrow win an award? Because he was outstanding in his field.
2. Why don’t scientists trust atoms? Because they make up everything.
3. How does a penguin build its house? Igloos it together.
4. What do you call fake spaghetti? An impasta.
5. Why was the belt arrested? For holding up a pair of pants.
6. How do you organize a space-themed party? You planet.
7. Why did the computer go to the doctor? Because it had a virus.
8. What do you get when you cross a snowman and a vampire? Frostbite.
9. How do you catch a squirrel? Climb a tree and act like a nut.
10. Why couldn’t the leopard play hide and seek? Because he was always spotted.
Law and Disorder: Dad Jokes That Will Have You Gavel-ing with Laughter
1. Why did the golfer bring two pairs of pants? In case he got a hole in one.
2. Did you hear about the mathematician who’s afraid of negative numbers? He will stop at nothing to avoid them.
3. Why couldn’t the bicycle stand up by itself? It was two tired.
4. How do you organize a space-themed party? You planet.
5. What do you call a fake noodle? An impasta.
6. Why don’t skeletons fight each other? They don’t have the guts.
7. How do you catch a squirrel? Climb a tree and act like a nut.
8. Why don’t scientists trust atoms? Because they make up everything.
9. Why did the math book look sad? Because it had too many problems.
10. What do you call a bear with no teeth? A gummy bear.
Judge for Yourself: The Funniest Legal One-Liners and Wordplay
1. It’s not the attorney’s fault he can’t roll with the punches – it’s just his briefs.
2. You can’t spell “lawsuit” without “u”.
3. I wasn’t going to buy anything from that store, but the attorney said it was a firm decision.
4. I find it criminal how punny these legal jokes are.
5. Always trust a good lawyer – they’re practically im-pun-able.
6. Why don’t attorneys play hide-and-seek? Nobody wants to be the one to find them.
7. Did you hear about the lawyer who quit their job to become a bartender? They wanted to pass the bar at work instead.
8. Why did the lawyer bring a ladder to court? They heard the case was on a higher level.
9. Why do attorneys always end their jokes with a punchline? They like to give their arguments weight.
10. Why do lawyers make terrible friends? They’re always trying to turn a lawsuit into a friendship suit.
Objection Overruled! The Best Courtroom Puns to Brighten Your Day
1. How does an attorney sleep? First, he lies on one side, then he lies on the other.
2. Why was the math book sad? Because it had too many problems.
3. Why did the lawyer always carry a pen? So they could draw their conclusions.
4. Why do we tell actors to “break a leg?” Because it’s better than getting sued for breaking an arm.
5. Why was the lawyer always calm? Because they knew how to de-fence themselves.
6. What do you call a lawyer who doesn’t chase ambulances? Retired.
7. Why did the judge excuse the electrician from jury duty? He kept shocking the other jurors.
8. What do you call a judge with no sense of humor? A grievance.
9. Why do criminal cases take so long to finish? Because they can’t handle the time.
10. How do you make a small claims court smile? Jury-rig it.