In this very funny pun compilation, we have come up with and collected the best disease puns, dad jokes and wordplay to make you LOL.
Aching for a Laugh: The Top 10 Hilarious Disease Puns
1. I used to be a baker, but I couldn’t make enough dough. Now I’m feeling a little crusty.
2. Why did the germ cross the microscope? To get to the other slide!
3. To cure my kleptomania, I take something for it every day.
4. I asked the doctor if he could give me something for my hypochondria. He said, “You don’t have hypochondria, just a vivid imagination.”
5. I’m reading a book on anti-gravity. It’s impossible to put down!
6. I went to the doctor because I was feeling a little hoarse. He told me to quit horsing around.
7. I’m trying to organize a hide and seek competition, but good players are so hard to find.
8. Why do ghosts love to ride in elevators? It raises their spirits!
9. The patient told the doctor, “I feel like a pack of cards.” The doctor said, “I’ll deal with you later.”
10. My doctor told me I have a vitamin deficiency. I said, “Which one?” He replied, “B12.”
Punder the Weather: Dad Jokes that will Cure Your Boredom
1. Have you heard of that disease where you can’t control your eyebrows? It’s called glaucoma.
2. I used to have a job at a calendar factory, but I got the sack because I took a couple of days off.
3. I once had a job at a shoe factory, but I quit because it was sole-destroying.
4. Why don’t scientists trust atoms? Because they make up everything!
5. I told my wife she should embrace her mistakes. She gave me a hug.
6. I’m on a seafood diet. I see food and I eat it.
7. What did the grape say when it got stepped on? Nothing, it just let out a little wine.
8. I told my wife she should do lunges to stay in shape. That would be a big step forward.
9. Parallel lines have so much in common. It’s a shame they’ll never meet.
10. I used to run a dating service for chickens, but I was struggling to make hens meet.
Laughter is Contagious: Funny Wordplays on Common Ailments
1. I told my doctor I broke my arm in two places. He told me to stop going to those places.
2. Have you heard about that restaurant called Karma? There’s no menu because you get what you deserve.
3. I used to play piano by ear, but now I use my hands.
4. I told my friend I was reading a book on Stockholm syndrome. She said she felt kidnapped by my puns.
5. I told my wife she should try making glass coffins. It might be a dead giveaway.
6. Parallel lines have so much in common. It’s a shame they’ll never meet.
7. I tried to catch fog yesterday, but I mist!
8. I told my wife she should do lunges to stay in shape. That would be a big step forward.
9. Have you heard about the new restaurant on the moon? The food is great, but there’s no atmosphere.
10. I used to be a baker, but I couldn’t make enough dough. Now I’m feeling a little crusty.
From A-Z: The Ultimate List of Disease Puns to Tick Tockle Your Funny Bone
1. The doctor told me I had type-A blood, but it was a typo.
2. Why do some people call arthritis the “Jazz Band Disease”? Because it makes you feel all those joints.
3. I used to be a baker, but I couldn’t make enough dough. Now I’m feeling a little crusty.
4. I’m trying to organize a hide and seek competition, but good players are so hard to find.
5. Why did the germ cross the microscope? To get to the other slide!
6. I told a chemistry joke, but there was no reaction.
7. I’m reading a book on anti-gravity. It’s impossible to put down!
8. I used to have a job at a calendar factory, but I got the sack because I took a couple of days off.
9. I told my wife she should try making glass coffins. It might be a dead giveaway.
10. I asked the doctor if he could give me something for my hypochondria. He said, “You don’t have hypochondria, just a vivid imagination.”
Chuckle while you Cough: Witty and Clever Jokes about Illnesses and Conditions
1. I told my doctor I broke my arm in two places. He told me to stop going to those places.
2. I asked the doctor if he could give me something for my hypochondria. He said, “You don’t have hypochondria, just a vivid imagination.”
3. Have you heard about the new restaurant on the moon? The food is great, but there’s no atmosphere.
4. I went to the doctor because I was feeling a little hoarse. He told me to quit horsing around.
5. Why do some people call arthritis the “Jazz Band Disease”? Because it makes you feel all those joints.
6. I tried to catch fog yesterday, but I mist!
7. The patient told the doctor, “I feel like a pack of cards.” The doctor said, “I’ll deal with you later.”
8. What did the grape say when it got stepped on? Nothing, it just let out a little wine.
9. I’m on a seafood diet. I see food and I eat it.
10. I asked the doctor for some advice on getting better sleep. He said to lie down and close your eyes.