In this very funny pun compilation, we have come up with and collected the best measurement puns, dad jokes and wordplay to make you LOL.
Ruler of the Dad Jokes: The Top Measurement Puns That Will Measure Up
1. Why was the math book sad? Because it had too many problems.
2. I used to be a baker, but I couldn’t make enough dough.
3. Did you hear about the mathematician who’s afraid of negative numbers? He’ll stop at nothing to avoid them.
4. I’m reading a book on anti-gravity. It’s impossible to put down.
5. Parallel lines have so much in common. It’s a shame they’ll never meet.
6. I’m friends with 25 letters of the alphabet. I don’t know why.
7. Why did the math book look sad? Because it had too many problems.
8. I’m a huge fan of whiteboards. They’re remarkable.
9. The mathematician decided to get a little tan, so he went to the sine wave beach.
10. I’m terrible at math, but I’m great at measuring things during a crisis. I’m an emergency estimation expert.
Inch by Inch, Laugh by Laugh: Hilarious Wordplay in Measurement Puns
1. I’m learning sign language. It’s pretty handy.
2. The scarecrow won an award because he was outstanding in his field.
3. I told my wife she should embrace her mistakes. She gave me a hug.
4. Why do cows wear bells? Because their horns don’t work.
5. The magician got so mad, he pulled his hare out.
6. I knew a guy who collected candy canes. They were all in mint condition.
7. I asked the librarian if they had any books on paranoia. She whispered, “They’re right behind you.”
8. I used to play piano by ear, but now I use my hands.
9. Yesterday, a clown held the door open for me. It was a nice jester.
10. I have a fear of speed bumps, but I’m slowly getting over it.
Level Up Your Humor: Funny Measurement Puns That Will Make You Do a Double Take
1. Why did the computer go to the doctor? Because it had a virus!
2. How do prisoners make calls? With cell phones.
3. I told my wife she should do lunges to stay in shape. That would be a big step forward.
4. I cried when my flashlight died. He was such a bright light in my life.
5. Never trust stairs. They’re always up to something.
6. The road didn’t feel like walking, so it decided to crack itself up.
7. What do you call an alligator in a vest? An investigator.
8. My cat was just sick on the carpet. I don’t think it’s feline well.
9. I used to be a baker, but I couldn’t make enough dough.
10. I used to have a fear of hurdles, but I got over it.